one more

Ah, I'm back to the blog where no one reads. Awesome!

I've been doing well lately. Better. Or that's what I want myself to believe. However I'm always thinking that I'm not doing well enough.

S's boyfriend, WK, of the same age as me, just bought a Mercedes C63AMG and what am I doing with my life? I have no property to my name. I'm not a millionaire yet. The plan was next year. I have  1 more year to go and I have only made like a tenth of what I aimed for.

I lost a potentially $100k budget job recently. I don't know if it's my negligence or is it my fault. Is it because I can't pull it off?  The market is big here but yet it's small. It's so hard to make money.
Maybe I should buy a car to comfort myself. Idk. That would be a rather stupid choice. Being poorer while making people think you are richer. .

Well that's not an issue. Is it? Money can't buy happiness can't it?


A's still not talking to me. I'm still pretty sore about losing her friendship. It's like a part of me is missing. On top of that, I've lost Julius completely. I feel incomplete without them, but I guess it's time to move on. They are holding me back from my goals and my happiness. I should hang out with people that appreciates my time, as I have so little of it. It's really got nothing to do with time management. I believe I manage my time quite decently, I'm less late now. Used to be horrible with time.

A's not really holding me back, but rather ,I appreciated the time spent with her, it is not everyday you meet someone that you can share jokes with and they understand everything. It's not everyday that you can find someone who is frank with you and pick out flaws that you have that other and yourself cannot see. I am a better person now.

Happy birthday AW. You might not see this. (I really fucking hope you don't)
But have a good one. I'll probably text you, probably not. But yeah. Here's to friendship.

2013

Hmmm. I should be working.

instead, here i am, reviving a dead blog that no one reads.
good.

Its 2 days after my birthday , and i must say it was quite shitty. not that I care about birthdays, but it would be nice to have someone.

for the none of you that have been following my blog, these 3 years have passed fast.

well, for one thing, the last time I posted something here, I had a father.
in between then and now I had 2 girlfriends. both remarkable and amazing women, but well, didnt work out.

business have grown, yes. I exactly where I wanted to be and working for more, but oh well , that reminds me, I should be working.

Idk how many times ive said this, but ive met a girl. she rejected me.
I cant tell , I cant read her. but there something special about her. most people will look at her and say
 "dude, you like her cos' she's pretty" , well, true that. But that not what it is.
 Most pretty girls are quite daft imho, and lack personality, possibly because they grew up not needing any personality at all , as they can get to wherever they want with how they look.

but not her.

she has spunk, a fascinating character, intelligence, wit and amazes me everyday.

well It was obvious i kinda fell for her, but not the reason behind why I broke up with my ex.
along the way, something happen and our friendship seem to go down the drain.

I'm broken. I cant read her, I can't tell. I cant help but think too much.

 deng shemo?

does it mean anything at all?

I should get back to work.